Jumping the Gun
I tend to get ahead of God.
One moment I'll be walking along with Him, settled and content, then BAM! I flash-forward to the future and all the possibilities I think my life could hold. Sometimes this isn't a bad thing; it can cause me to be more ambitious and passionate about my life goals. But often, it makes me wonder where God has been. (I know, I was just walking with him...I think I have short-term memory issues when it comes to where God is sometimes.) Then I start shooting off questions into the distance. "God, um....where ya been? So...when am I going to understand my life? When I am going to discover what I was born to do? How come I haven't gotten my life right yet? And that friend that I've been ministering to...when is that going to bear fruit? What about my career...why isn't that already planned? Oh, and that guy you "promised" me? When's he going to show up? Why isn't my life perfectly in place? Uh, God....I'm waiting...".
Now, all this may sound ridiculous, considering the fact that I'm 21 years old. It's not like my life has passed me by and I've had no experiences of any value. I have plenty of time, and I know it. But try telling my heart that, sometimes. I want things to come together in a nice little package. I want to learn how to do everything perfectly. I want to finally arrive at the point in my walk with God (as if the point really exists). Oh, and did I mention that I want it all now? I'm not about wasting time!
Like He often does, God struck down this way of thinking with some truth from His word. (Imagine a lightning bolt of truth heading straight for my brain.) Jeremiah 29:10-14, a rather familiar passage for many, says, “For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."
Now, you may think I'm going to quote verse 11 about God having plans for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about that, but that's not the verse that hit me. Look at verse 10. God promises to fulfill his promise, just like always. However, he doesn't say that it will happen right away. In fact, He says it will take 70 years. 70 YEARS! That's a whole lifetime! After reading this, I had to really ask myself if I believe God is faithful, even if I don't see his promises being fulfilled for 70 years. (That's a big step for a girl who wants things to happen now.) Next, I had to ask myself if I would be able to reconcile His faithfulness against the temptation to feel like those 70 years of waiting were a waste. But of course, God continues and says that He will restore fortunes. This reminded me of Joel 2:25, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." Not only does God have the power to fulfill promises, but He can even restore the years that we spend waiting. So even if I do have to wait 70 years, He could make it all worth it.
And what does God really care about in that passage anyway? He wants us to call on Him and to seek Him with all our hearts. That's really what He wants, especially since when we see Him, we will inevitably see His glory and worship Him. So whatever time I spend waiting, I will spend seeking the living God and getting to know and trust Him more. That is definitely not a waste.
Finally, I have to let God work instead of trying to get my life "right". By working to achieve everything, I am eliminating the need for grace, just as Romans 11:6 says, "But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace." I can't get it right. I can't lay out my life. I will ultimately fail. Thankfully, that's where Jesus comes in! 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, " But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” That same power to restore any "wasted" years also overcomes my insufficiency and weakness!
Waiting for answers might not always be easy or fun. During those times, I will take comfort in Job 23:10, "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold."
So no more jumping the gun. Jesus has me in certain places for a reason. If something isn't happening or I'm not quite figuring things out, then obviously I have more to learn and God has plans for me during that time. There's so much freedom in that, too, just to wait on God and take me to places I could have never imagined!
Now I'm trying this new thing - moving to the background and simply following God, letting Him work out the intricate details and major events of my life. I'm yielding to His hand that writes my story. The path tends to be a bit smoother when He's in the lead.
One moment I'll be walking along with Him, settled and content, then BAM! I flash-forward to the future and all the possibilities I think my life could hold. Sometimes this isn't a bad thing; it can cause me to be more ambitious and passionate about my life goals. But often, it makes me wonder where God has been. (I know, I was just walking with him...I think I have short-term memory issues when it comes to where God is sometimes.) Then I start shooting off questions into the distance. "God, um....where ya been? So...when am I going to understand my life? When I am going to discover what I was born to do? How come I haven't gotten my life right yet? And that friend that I've been ministering to...when is that going to bear fruit? What about my career...why isn't that already planned? Oh, and that guy you "promised" me? When's he going to show up? Why isn't my life perfectly in place? Uh, God....I'm waiting...".
Now, all this may sound ridiculous, considering the fact that I'm 21 years old. It's not like my life has passed me by and I've had no experiences of any value. I have plenty of time, and I know it. But try telling my heart that, sometimes. I want things to come together in a nice little package. I want to learn how to do everything perfectly. I want to finally arrive at the point in my walk with God (as if the point really exists). Oh, and did I mention that I want it all now? I'm not about wasting time!
Like He often does, God struck down this way of thinking with some truth from His word. (Imagine a lightning bolt of truth heading straight for my brain.) Jeremiah 29:10-14, a rather familiar passage for many, says, “For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."
Now, you may think I'm going to quote verse 11 about God having plans for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about that, but that's not the verse that hit me. Look at verse 10. God promises to fulfill his promise, just like always. However, he doesn't say that it will happen right away. In fact, He says it will take 70 years. 70 YEARS! That's a whole lifetime! After reading this, I had to really ask myself if I believe God is faithful, even if I don't see his promises being fulfilled for 70 years. (That's a big step for a girl who wants things to happen now.) Next, I had to ask myself if I would be able to reconcile His faithfulness against the temptation to feel like those 70 years of waiting were a waste. But of course, God continues and says that He will restore fortunes. This reminded me of Joel 2:25, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." Not only does God have the power to fulfill promises, but He can even restore the years that we spend waiting. So even if I do have to wait 70 years, He could make it all worth it.
And what does God really care about in that passage anyway? He wants us to call on Him and to seek Him with all our hearts. That's really what He wants, especially since when we see Him, we will inevitably see His glory and worship Him. So whatever time I spend waiting, I will spend seeking the living God and getting to know and trust Him more. That is definitely not a waste.
Finally, I have to let God work instead of trying to get my life "right". By working to achieve everything, I am eliminating the need for grace, just as Romans 11:6 says, "But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace." I can't get it right. I can't lay out my life. I will ultimately fail. Thankfully, that's where Jesus comes in! 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, " But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” That same power to restore any "wasted" years also overcomes my insufficiency and weakness!
Waiting for answers might not always be easy or fun. During those times, I will take comfort in Job 23:10, "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold."
So no more jumping the gun. Jesus has me in certain places for a reason. If something isn't happening or I'm not quite figuring things out, then obviously I have more to learn and God has plans for me during that time. There's so much freedom in that, too, just to wait on God and take me to places I could have never imagined!
Now I'm trying this new thing - moving to the background and simply following God, letting Him work out the intricate details and major events of my life. I'm yielding to His hand that writes my story. The path tends to be a bit smoother when He's in the lead.
You are the coolest ever! I love coming and reading your new posts because you are constantly challenging me to examine my life and where I stand with God on certain things. I am so grateful for your example of a Christ-led life. I love you, yo! Erin
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