All Things New

We always want what we don't have.  And boy oh boy, have I seen that lately. God has opened so many doors in my life, but how quickly I tend to forget about the blessings.  Luckily, I have friends that pull me back in to seeing the bigger picture. Recently, God revealed how discontented my heart had become through a conversation with a friend. At the end of the conversation, in which I had been talking about what was going on in my life, this friend said, "Wow, you always say how envious you are of my life, but it looks like God is doing huge things in yours!" This statement was almost an afterthought, but it stopped me short. Until this moment, I hadn't realized that my heart was constantly searching for more , because I really was  grateful for all I had been given. But instead of continually rejoicing for the opportunities placed before me, my mind was set on things I didn't have. These could be more money, a relationship, or even more sleep. Basically, I

Dead Week and Finals Week have left me with little time to spare, so I haven't had the chance to post in a while. Soon, finals will be over and I will have time to think again! But for now, I thought I would share something I wrote a while ago. This is a poem called Redeemer . It's not the best, and I see a lot of things I want to go in and revise, but this is how I felt at the time, so this is the most true version. :) (And no, the formatting is not messed up...that's how it was originally formatted.) I think it's fitting for the season, since Jesus came to earth as the Redeemer... Redeemer Your grace is infinite and extravagant. It rushes into my life like a roaring river             to the sea. Time does not hold You captive - You forgive             time and time again. You turn back the clock to a time of innocence with each cleansing of my heart             by Your blood.                         It flows through my veins to make me            

Thanksgiving was last week, so it almost seems like this post is a bit late. But really, thankfulness is becoming a theme of my life lately, so why limit it to a single holiday? I am thankful for so much, but there are a few things that are really on my heart... I am thankful for the generosity of the people around me. I have been overwhelmed by the giving nature of some people I know. There are those who give financially - many have supported me in raising funds for my trip overseas this Christmas. They have given without hesitation. And what's even cooler is that they are giving how God leads; for example, one of my friends wrote out a check for an amount that he felt God was leading him to give. It ended up being almost exactly what I needed to meet a certain goal. Not a coincidence. Then there are those who give their time. And for me, time is almost just as valuable as money. I have friends that continually make time for me in their busy lives or let me pop into their live

I've been going through Romans recently with my friend Chelsae, and the past 2 weeks we've been studying one of my favorite chapters -- Romans 8. There is so much truth and hope in that passage, so I was excited when we finally got to it. I've always clung to verse 28, loving that fact that God promises that He is working things for good . But this time, it was the verses preceding it that encouraged me in a big way.  Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For  we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is  the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27 How incredible is that? We know that believers in Christ have been given the Spirit, but we often don't think about what it actually means. The Spirit is interceding on our behalf. That's amazing! How many times have I tried

Have you ever become frustrated with superficial conversation? How many times have you spent an entire day at work, school, or with family and friends and never got below the surface? Or perhaps an entire week, or even months?  It's so normal to live a surface life, maybe because it's so safe and easy. What do I mean by surface life? Well, for me, many times it looks like this: Spend a day in class --> talk to classmates, but really only about projects and papers, how crazy the professor is, and maybe what we are going to do over the weekend.  Go to work --> talk to coworkers about crazy job situations, class, the weather (earthquakes!), and the usual "When are you graduating/what's your major/where are you from" questions.  Head home --> hang out with roommates, talking about the busyness of the day, the homework you should be doing, the movie you watched last night, when you are going grocery shopping, etc. Time with friends --> talk about sch

Today at church, my pastor talked about the perfection of God's timing. In Mark 5, Jesus delays on the way to see Jarius's very sick daughter. Jesus is "late", and the girl dies. However, Jesus gives Jarius way more than he bargains for and resurrects his daughter. Even though things didn't happen the way Jarius planned or on his schedule, I'm sure his faith was incredibly strengthened by seeing what Jesus did. Jesus was right on time; He knew exactly what He was doing.  We all know that 1000 years are as a day with Christ, and that His ways are not our ways. But we still very much struggle in trusting His timing. Why is that? It could be that we simply don't trust that God is good and will do what He says He will. It could be an issue of control or fear. Or it could be that we simply can't see God's greater purpose and bigger picture. So what do we do during those times that we can't see the bigger picture, when we don't know or can&

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its root by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds. Jeremiah 17:7-10 My heart is sick, and it is definitely deceitful. It elevates my pride or lowers my self-esteem. Many times, my emotions trick my head into believing a lie. Or often, my heart refuses to listen to reason. And even sometimes, my heart flip-flops back and forth between different things or chases things I know are harmful or that I really don't want. I certainly don't understand my heart; I don't understand why it lets my desires for other things outweigh my desires fo

A few months ago, I wrote this when I was trying to understand how to trust God even when my plans were dissolving and my desires weren't being met. I wanted to understand why God was doing what He was doing, but was frustrated that He wasn't revealing that to me. I needed to see that He had something planned for my life and that He was the only person worth following. Although I'm growing in how to trust, it's still a long process. Even though I wrote this a while back, I found it in my journal and it's a big encouragement (and challenge) to me this week.  Between my desires and my plans, there is trust.   Trust in You. Trust that You have plans for me. Trust that Your ways are not my own. Trust that You are good. Trust that I am already loved.  My heart fails me. I work so hard to trust You. I work. Instead of letting You. I don't always understand. I don't always want to let go. I don't always see clearly.   But what does that matter?  You are

My last post " Give Them Jesus " was a bit intense. I realize that I spent a lot of time telling about how not to respond to people. I did mention that Jesus is what people need, but I don't think I expounded enough on that truth! The reason we don't have to have all the answers or have the ability to "fix" someone is because Jesus has already done that. The song "Take Heart" by Hillsong has a line that says, " In death by love, the fallen world was overcome - He wears the scars of our freedom. " I absolutely love that line. We are free because of Christ's death! He has overcome all of our failures, fears, insecurities, and sins. That is why we need to give people Jesus. We need to understand that even though we are incapable of fixing a person or giving them what they need, Jesus has already died for them and has made things right. And sure, it's great to encourage someone, pray with them, and even give them Spirit-led advice.

We all know those people that are good at holding it all together.  Life seems to go well for them. Sure, they may be a little stressed now and then, but they've got it all pretty much figured out. They are living the best they can and making out pretty well. Even when things go wrong, they are skilled at putting it back together. They are fixers.  So what happens when that person begins to crack? When they admit, "Look, life is hard, and I'm struggling"? When they begin to let out what's really in their hearts?  How do we respond to situations like this? I know that I've been guilty of being quick to offer up a time when I dealt with something similar in my own life. "Look, I know exactly what you're going through. I've been there, and this is how it all happened..." Another response is to say, "Look, I've got just as much going on in my life as you, probably more. I'm still holding it together. You should do the sam

While driving in my car today, God spoke deep into my heart about contentment.  I was listening to a podcast sermon by David Platt (imagine God speaking through that  guy). The point David was making was about being single vs. being in a relationship. He challenged my idea of thinking by stating that singleness and  marriage are both gifts from God . I think many of us have viewed marriage as a gift and singleness as the absence of the gift. That couldn't be more wrong. It is easy for us to understand marriage as a gift, but singleness is proven valuable many times in the New Testament, especially in 1 Corinthians 7.  David Platt continued to challenge me when he said the issue is more than deciding whether we have been given the gift of marriage or singleness; it is whether or not we are content in God.  For me, this applies to more than relationships. I think many of us are torn between two things, even if both options are great: singleness or relationship, career or fam

But He said to me,  " My grace is sufficient for you, for   my power is made perfect in weakness. "  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then,   I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 This verse came alive to me today, very unexpectedly. I was studying for MT when I came across this verse. I've read this passage many times, and even quoted it. But today, it just clicked.  Earlier in the chapter, Paul is talking about "a thorn in the flesh" and a "messenger of Satan to harass me". He pleaded with the Lord multiple times to take it from him, but God responds by telling Paul that His grace is sufficient and that in Paul's weakness, He is actually powerful.  This really hit home for me. Recently, I have had my own "thorn in the flesh". I hav

God showed me a glimpse of my heart yesterday, and I wasn't too fond of what I saw.  It had been a bit of a rough morning, so I was journaling and praying about it. (And to be honest, probably whining a bit, too.)  I felt as if I was stuck in a place of limbo -- God wasn't fulfilling a specific desire, but He wasn't taking it away either. I was begging God to show me His purpose, to let me know what exactly it was that He was wanting me to learn in this situation, when the next words out of my mouth stunned me into silence : "You already took a big part of my life away. What more do you want from me?" As I uttered those words, I sat frozen and in shock. For the first time in a while, I realized that I was still upset with God; more than that, I was indignant and downright  angry .  I felt wronged by what God had taken out of my life. It was mine, after all. Right? Hadn't I been good enough? If He was just going to take it away, why did He even giv

I was in the 6th grade. Mr. Adams was taking my class over to the library to check out books. We walked in and the librarian had the news playing on TV. At first, I didn't really pay attention. Soon, the librarian and the other teachers were telling us all to be quiet. That's when I first noticed that something was wrong. All the eyes in the room were locked to the television; no one was moving or talking. Finally, I looked at the TV and I saw the images of the towers falling.  As a 6th grader, I didn't really understand a lot of the implications behind this terror attack. I knew it was horrible, and I felt compassion for the families that lost loved ones. I had never paid much attention to the American flag or the pledge of allegiance, but in the days to come, they both became very important symbols. The moment of silence was implemented in the mornings at school, which was another new thing. I had never thought much about the Middle East, but everyone was talking about

God knows what He is doing.  Obvious statement, but sometimes it takes me a while to see the obvious.  He has been showing me His faithfulness and provision in the area of friendships.  Take Anna Humphrey for instance. I've known her since freshman year, but not too well. Lately, however, God has brought her into my life and we have been able to become closer. Turns out, we've been going through some of the same issues, and talking with her is such  an encouragement. God's timing is perfect, and He knew exactly when our paths should intersect. Ecclesiastes 3 says, " For everything there is a season, and  a time for every matter under heaven." God knew exactly when Anna & I would be able to connect most, even though we've been around each other for some time. He set up that community. After all, He wants us to be in community; that is why He blesses us with friendship. Proverbs talks about iron sharpening iron, and John says that there is no greater