Wanting What We Don't Have
We always want what we don't have.
And boy oh boy, have I seen that lately. God has opened so many doors in my life, but how quickly I tend to forget about the blessings.
Luckily, I have friends that pull me back in to seeing the bigger picture. Recently, God revealed how discontented my heart had become through a conversation with a friend. At the end of the conversation, in which I had been talking about what was going on in my life, this friend said, "Wow, you always say how envious you are of my life, but it looks like God is doing huge things in yours!" This statement was almost an afterthought, but it stopped me short. Until this moment, I hadn't realized that my heart was constantly searching for more, because I really was grateful for all I had been given. But instead of continually rejoicing for the opportunities placed before me, my mind was set on things I didn't have. These could be more money, a relationship, or even more sleep. Basically, I was not content where I was, so how convicted was I when I read 1 Timothy 6:6 - but godliness with contentment is great gain. Wow. God has put me exactly where he wants me. He knows the plans he has for me and is working it out for my good (Jer. 29:11, Romans 8:28). My job is to trust, be content, and rejoice continually.
But it is certainly not my job to compare myself to others. Though my friend knew that I wasn't wishing I had his life, it still stung to realize that I had been longing for some things he had been given or been learning instead of seeing where God had me. This made me think of the verse in John 21 when Peter is becoming jealous of John. Jesus rebukes him, saying, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” If Jesus had to rebuke Peter, the rock of the church, about comparison, then who am I to think that I can get away with it? What is it to me if someone lands an amazing job, gets engaged, or even leads a hundred people to Christ? Good for them, but that's not me: Jesus simply says "Follow Me". Remember earlier, when I realized that my heart was searching for more? Well, I need to keep that same spirit of searching, but instead turn to seeking more Jesus. God said in Jeremiah 29:13, "You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart". Instead of looking at what other people have and what I don't, I should be looking at what I do have: Jesus Christ, the Messiah for the whole world, the infinite and intimate God.
Which brings me to conversation #2. Recently, I have begun to question myself about my upcoming trips overseas. Thoughts of inadequacy swirled in my mind: I'm not bold enough, I don't know enough, I'm too shy, I'm not worthy to carry the message of Christ, and on and on. Just when I was feeling anxious and apprehensive, a friend shared Exodus 4 with me. But Moses said to the LORD, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the LORD said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”
Once again, like Moses, I was focusing on the abilities I didn't possess instead of the only thing I did possess that actually mattered: the Spirit of the Living God himself. How many times have I sung the lyrics, "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger...And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then who could stand against?" But do I really believe that? God promises to give us words to say, so why in the world would I focus on my inabilities when I could be focusing on the greatest weapon anyone could possess?
And as for not being worthy; well, I'm not. But God is going to use me anyway. Ezekiel 36:23 says, "And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them. And the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Lord GOD, when through you I vindicate my holiness before their eyes. " Often, God uses me not in spite of my lack, but because of it and through it. He is holy, and my unworthiness will not stand in the way of His glory.
So, why waste time being discontent and searching for things I don't have, whether material or spiritual things? Instead, I want to bask in the goodness and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ and let Him lead me where He wants me to go. It's only through Him that I'll ever find real contentment.
Thanks to the men who shared these valuable truths with me. You know who you are.
And boy oh boy, have I seen that lately. God has opened so many doors in my life, but how quickly I tend to forget about the blessings.
Luckily, I have friends that pull me back in to seeing the bigger picture. Recently, God revealed how discontented my heart had become through a conversation with a friend. At the end of the conversation, in which I had been talking about what was going on in my life, this friend said, "Wow, you always say how envious you are of my life, but it looks like God is doing huge things in yours!" This statement was almost an afterthought, but it stopped me short. Until this moment, I hadn't realized that my heart was constantly searching for more, because I really was grateful for all I had been given. But instead of continually rejoicing for the opportunities placed before me, my mind was set on things I didn't have. These could be more money, a relationship, or even more sleep. Basically, I was not content where I was, so how convicted was I when I read 1 Timothy 6:6 - but godliness with contentment is great gain. Wow. God has put me exactly where he wants me. He knows the plans he has for me and is working it out for my good (Jer. 29:11, Romans 8:28). My job is to trust, be content, and rejoice continually.
But it is certainly not my job to compare myself to others. Though my friend knew that I wasn't wishing I had his life, it still stung to realize that I had been longing for some things he had been given or been learning instead of seeing where God had me. This made me think of the verse in John 21 when Peter is becoming jealous of John. Jesus rebukes him, saying, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” If Jesus had to rebuke Peter, the rock of the church, about comparison, then who am I to think that I can get away with it? What is it to me if someone lands an amazing job, gets engaged, or even leads a hundred people to Christ? Good for them, but that's not me: Jesus simply says "Follow Me". Remember earlier, when I realized that my heart was searching for more? Well, I need to keep that same spirit of searching, but instead turn to seeking more Jesus. God said in Jeremiah 29:13, "You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart". Instead of looking at what other people have and what I don't, I should be looking at what I do have: Jesus Christ, the Messiah for the whole world, the infinite and intimate God.
Which brings me to conversation #2. Recently, I have begun to question myself about my upcoming trips overseas. Thoughts of inadequacy swirled in my mind: I'm not bold enough, I don't know enough, I'm too shy, I'm not worthy to carry the message of Christ, and on and on. Just when I was feeling anxious and apprehensive, a friend shared Exodus 4 with me. But Moses said to the LORD, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the LORD said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”
Once again, like Moses, I was focusing on the abilities I didn't possess instead of the only thing I did possess that actually mattered: the Spirit of the Living God himself. How many times have I sung the lyrics, "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger...And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then who could stand against?" But do I really believe that? God promises to give us words to say, so why in the world would I focus on my inabilities when I could be focusing on the greatest weapon anyone could possess?
And as for not being worthy; well, I'm not. But God is going to use me anyway. Ezekiel 36:23 says, "And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them. And the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Lord GOD, when through you I vindicate my holiness before their eyes. " Often, God uses me not in spite of my lack, but because of it and through it. He is holy, and my unworthiness will not stand in the way of His glory.
So, why waste time being discontent and searching for things I don't have, whether material or spiritual things? Instead, I want to bask in the goodness and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ and let Him lead me where He wants me to go. It's only through Him that I'll ever find real contentment.
Thanks to the men who shared these valuable truths with me. You know who you are.
You have such a beautiful, open heart! I love reading about what God is doing in your life. :) Stay sweet!
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