Heart Conversations

Have you ever become frustrated with superficial conversation? How many times have you spent an entire day at work, school, or with family and friends and never got below the surface? Or perhaps an entire week, or even months? 

It's so normal to live a surface life, maybe because it's so safe and easy. What do I mean by surface life? Well, for me, many times it looks like this:
Spend a day in class --> talk to classmates, but really only about projects and papers, how crazy the professor is, and maybe what we are going to do over the weekend. 
Go to work --> talk to coworkers about crazy job situations, class, the weather (earthquakes!), and the usual "When are you graduating/what's your major/where are you from" questions. 
Head home --> hang out with roommates, talking about the busyness of the day, the homework you should be doing, the movie you watched last night, when you are going grocery shopping, etc.
Time with friends --> talk about school, work, boys, the game last weekend, holiday plans, etc.  
Church/Ministry activities --> all the general questions and statements like "how was your week?/we should hang out/did you hear about so-and-so?/can you bring snacks to the next meeting/do you mind volunteering in this area/etc". 

So maybe now you know what I mean by surface-level, superficial conversations. How much of your life looks like this? 


If this is as far as we get, we never really get to know people, and they don't get to know us. We don't get down to the heart issues. We don't get to share real struggles and true joy. We aren't able to encourage one another or to point each other to the gospel because we don't know what's really going on. There is no connection, no real fellowship. It doesn't only hurt us, but it hurts others that we could potentially share Christ with. 


These kinds of conversations wear me out. I long for real connection, for deep conversation. I desire true friendship that requires honestly and vulnerability. I want my day-to-day life to be more than superficial. 


And what a blessing it is when you have those kinds of conversations! They result in much more joy, encouragement, and fulfillment. Even if the conversation isn't directly focused on the gospel, they can still be Christ-centered, whether they are with believers or nonbelievers. And there is a Biblical basis for what I like to call "heart conversations". Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Corrupting doesn't have to be only negative talk. For me, superficial conversation can be corrupting because my heart is never focused on God. We need to have encouraging conversations to build one another up. I think even the verses that tell us to make the best use of our time are applicable in these situations, because all too often, these superficial conversations are simply a waste of time. 

Surface conversations become even more superficial in contrast to "heart conversations", and I am so thankful to have friends in my life that I can have these talks with! So, here's to you... (if you want to know what heart conversations look like, talk to these people...)
My roommate Kim is fantastic at this. We definitely have ridiculously silly conversations at times, but I can't even count the number of times we have shared our hearts, asked hard questions, and turned to the gospel. It is a huge blessing having a roommate to share real life with and I am thankful she lives a Christ-centered life.  
Molly continually blesses and challenges me with her honesty. My conversations with her are some of my favorite parts of the week (especially if they are over McAlister's sweet tea!). 
Kaydee has been my close friend the longest at OU, and she is the person I know I can always count on. I love that our friendship has grown and that we continue to share how God is working in our lives.  Because we have those conversations, she always knows how to encourage and serve me. (She is great!)
When do I not have a heart conversation with Abi? She is the master at sparking vulnerability because she shares her own heart. I do not know where I would be without her. 
Nathan is super encouraging and is so real about what God is doing. I've learned more about who God is by simply talking with him, and I love that our conversation can be funny but still Christ-centered. 
Erin is possibly the most encouraging person I know. I look forward to every single conversation with her because, even if they are silly, you know that her heart is focused on Christ and she is always willing to share that. 
Being on a team with Adam (in Cali, on MT, and soon-to-be overseas!) has been great -- he so often makes statements in conversation that make me want to go explore God for myself.
I love talking to Anna. She is so willing to share her life with me, and not always just the easy parts. She is such a loving, relatable person that it makes it easy to talk to her. 
Sarah Patton has shown incredible maturity in our conversations. I love that we became close so quickly, and I think a lot of that is because she was not afraid to share her heart with me. 
And finally, conversations with Krystyn are incredibly uplifting. She always points out the positive, but she is not afraid to share real issues either. She is the master at getting right to the heart of the matter. 

There are many other people that I would put in this category. I have been encouraged, uplifted, convicted, challenged, and pointed to the gospel through these conversations. And after all, isn't that what life is about? Living the gospel & glorifying God? 

So, my challenge to you: Have a real conversation with someone this week. Step out in faith; share more than the surface details; ask good questions. You will be blessed, and you won't want to go back to the superficial conversations.