Settle In
Post-grad life. Hmm. It's only been 3 months and it's already given me a number of conundrums and complexes.
Okay, maybe I'm being a tad dramatic. But it is definitely a confusing time.
Even though I've recently been learning a ton about waiting (see last blog post), I've still struggled with having one foot in the present and one foot in the future, seeking out my next successful path. However, one simple sentence from one person has been destroying me for over a week.
"Bethany, I can see that you're not settling into your new life here in Norman."
All kinds of thoughts went off in my head when I heard that, but the most noticeable was that I automatically equated "settling in" with "settling".
Part of the problem boiled down to my definition of the word "settle". I was using the definition that says "to become fixed, to become quiet and orderly, to take up an ordered and stable life". In other words, I equate "settle" with being okay with less than my best. I was also equating it with finality (as in, once I settle, I won't have a life and my adventures are over).
Instead, I should have been looking at the word used in such a way that means "to come to rest, to place so as to stay, to establish in residence, and to arrange in a desired position".
"Settling in" to my current life does not mean that I am settling for something lame or beneath my abilities. It does not mean that I am not a success or that I have no room to explore. Instead, it means to come to rest and to be in the here and now. It means to stop treating this stage of life like it's merely a stepping stone to something better and to instead engage with the people and opportunities that I have right now. It doesn't mean to get stuck; it means to get comfortable.
Once the definition fiasco was sorted out (and I was assured quite adamantly that I was not a person who "settles" in the negative sense), it was time to determine how to use my current situation to glorify God. While reading a Relevant article titled "Wanderlust", I stumbled across a brilliant nugget of truth. The author says, "When your vision positions you at the center, it’s usually not a vision from God. His vision generally doesn’t revolve around getting us to feel important and glorified (see Exhibit A: the entire Bible). But God’s vision does involve us living passionately in our strengths, no matter what that looks like."
Wow. Time to stop and reevaluate: How many times in the past three months, and even before that, have I denied the present, looking to the future to see how I can be a success? Those few sentences were a HUGE reminder that God is most concerned about His own glory. Not coincidentally, He has given me strengths and passions to use for His glory! I need to stop asking, "What do I want from God for my future?" and start asking, "What does God want from me now?"
So...do I think I will be in this life stage forever? No.
Should I stop looking for opportunities and praying about my future? No.
Should I stop moving forward and become stagnant? No.
But should I use this time to serve, be refined, and continue to grow in the opportunities God has given me? Absolutely.
Regardless of how long I am here, I am in Norman for a reason. Instead of worrying about my own image, my own welfare, and my own success, I can do what I can to serve the city. Right now, that looks like working at a health food store, engaging with people, and serving in an administrative position at Redeemer so that the church is equipped to reach out. After all, how am I to serve now if I'm constantly looking toward the future? We read in Jeremiah 29:4-7, "Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare."
In other words, get comfortable. This may not last forever, but live as if it impacts eternity. Put down roots. Practice humility. Seek the good of those around you. "Be still and know that I am God."
Settle in.
Okay, maybe I'm being a tad dramatic. But it is definitely a confusing time.
Even though I've recently been learning a ton about waiting (see last blog post), I've still struggled with having one foot in the present and one foot in the future, seeking out my next successful path. However, one simple sentence from one person has been destroying me for over a week.
"Bethany, I can see that you're not settling into your new life here in Norman."
All kinds of thoughts went off in my head when I heard that, but the most noticeable was that I automatically equated "settling in" with "settling".
Part of the problem boiled down to my definition of the word "settle". I was using the definition that says "to become fixed, to become quiet and orderly, to take up an ordered and stable life". In other words, I equate "settle" with being okay with less than my best. I was also equating it with finality (as in, once I settle, I won't have a life and my adventures are over).
Instead, I should have been looking at the word used in such a way that means "to come to rest, to place so as to stay, to establish in residence, and to arrange in a desired position".
"Settling in" to my current life does not mean that I am settling for something lame or beneath my abilities. It does not mean that I am not a success or that I have no room to explore. Instead, it means to come to rest and to be in the here and now. It means to stop treating this stage of life like it's merely a stepping stone to something better and to instead engage with the people and opportunities that I have right now. It doesn't mean to get stuck; it means to get comfortable.
Once the definition fiasco was sorted out (and I was assured quite adamantly that I was not a person who "settles" in the negative sense), it was time to determine how to use my current situation to glorify God. While reading a Relevant article titled "Wanderlust", I stumbled across a brilliant nugget of truth. The author says, "When your vision positions you at the center, it’s usually not a vision from God. His vision generally doesn’t revolve around getting us to feel important and glorified (see Exhibit A: the entire Bible). But God’s vision does involve us living passionately in our strengths, no matter what that looks like."
Wow. Time to stop and reevaluate: How many times in the past three months, and even before that, have I denied the present, looking to the future to see how I can be a success? Those few sentences were a HUGE reminder that God is most concerned about His own glory. Not coincidentally, He has given me strengths and passions to use for His glory! I need to stop asking, "What do I want from God for my future?" and start asking, "What does God want from me now?"
So...do I think I will be in this life stage forever? No.
Should I stop looking for opportunities and praying about my future? No.
Should I stop moving forward and become stagnant? No.
But should I use this time to serve, be refined, and continue to grow in the opportunities God has given me? Absolutely.
Regardless of how long I am here, I am in Norman for a reason. Instead of worrying about my own image, my own welfare, and my own success, I can do what I can to serve the city. Right now, that looks like working at a health food store, engaging with people, and serving in an administrative position at Redeemer so that the church is equipped to reach out. After all, how am I to serve now if I'm constantly looking toward the future? We read in Jeremiah 29:4-7, "Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare."
In other words, get comfortable. This may not last forever, but live as if it impacts eternity. Put down roots. Practice humility. Seek the good of those around you. "Be still and know that I am God."
Settle in.
Great article... Maybe another way to frame it is to think about settling into the rhythms of this time in your life.
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