Anti-Social

The funny thing about social media is that I’m almost never being “social” when I’m interacting with it.

Nine times out of ten, I run to social media when I’m bored. Instead of striking up a conversation with the person next to me in the waiting room, I scroll through Instagram. Instead of paying attention at a sporting event, I live-tweet it. Instead of spending time in prayer before bed, I check Facebook. Instead of reading a book or chatting with a coworker during lunch, I browse Buzzfeed for the billionth time. In all these instances, I pull away from authentic, genuine connection in favor of a detached semi-reality. Why? I’m not quite sure yet…maybe just because it’s easier and more self-indulgent. Still figuring that out.

I do know one thing – this past weekend was one of the most enjoyable ones of the summer, and I think much of it had to do with the fact that I completely unplugged from social media for 48 hours.

It all began when I realized that I had no plans on Friday night (GASP!). My sister was out of town, my roommate was ill, and it seemed most of my friends were traveling or had their own plans – at least that’s what Facebook told me.

I absolutely did not know what to do with myself. After scrolling through the apps on my phone (and cleaning my room; at least I was a little bit productive), I ended up CURLED UP ON MY BED STARING AT THE WALL FOR AN HOUR. At eight o’clock. Like a weirdo.

Now, maybe many of you feel the “no-plans Friday” pain, but for someone who self-identifies as an introvert the majority of the time, this was just plain weird for me.

I didn’t want to watch TV. I didn’t want to go outside. I didn’t want to be productive. I didn’t even want to read a book, which is ABSURD.

At first I attributed these feelings to the fact that I’ve spent a lot of time with people lately and that I was just suffering “withdrawals.”

But I don’t think that’s the whole story. After all, I generally enjoy alone time/down time.

I think that, without realizing it, I had seen the “super fun” lives my friends were sharing on Twitter, Instagram, etc. and had come to the conclusion that I must be the only one not out having an adventure and living my best life. Just that quickly, I became completely discontent without even noticing it, all because I was focusing on someone else’s life other than my own.

Once I finally gained awareness of the fact that I was suffering from the dreaded FOMO (fear of missing out…it may sound like a ridiculous concept, but you know if you’ve felt it), I decided to kick the social media habit for the rest of the weekend.

And it wasn’t easy. (Yes, I am ashamed to admit that, but I’d be lying if I didn’t.) I became acutely aware of just how many times during the day I reach for my phone or my laptop, how often it acted as my quick fix, and how easily I was distracted from real life by the promise of something more interesting than whatever I was currently doing.

But once I resolved to put the phone down and step away from the computer, I remembered just how many other things I can spend my time doing.

So I read an entire book. I wrote a letter. I ran errands. I spent time in the Word. I journaled. I cooked. I mowed the yard. I served someone besides myself. I spent genuine, fun time with people. I called home and talked to my family.  

And come Monday morning, I felt much more alive and fulfilled than I have in quite some time.

Don’t get me wrong – I think social media can be a fantastic tool. I can stay in touch with family and friends all over the world. I can encourage and be encouraged. I can be a tuned-in part of my community.

But probably just as often, it turns into a soul-sucker. After all, comparison is the thief of joy, and what better way to compare your life with another’s than to tune into Facebook with a few clicks? The grass is always greener, right?

It’s not just me – just search “millennial” and “social media” and you’ll find tons of blog posts, articles, and whatnot. I’m definitely just one of the millions discussing this topic, especially of my generation.

The fact is that we all see what we want to see when we look at these platforms. The single people see the engagement/wedding posts. The couple with no children see the new baby announcements, and the couple with five young kids see how much free time the childless couple or single person has. The people stuck in jobs they don’t like see the one person in the world who landed their dream job after college, and the person who travels to amazing places for their job sees the person who gets to be near their family and friends.

The list goes on and on. We see what we foolishly desire: all the good with none of the bad.

But that is not reality! If the everyday stuff of life was portrayed honestly on social media, you would see a much fuller picture of positive and negatives, even with good things like marriage and babies and great jobs!

Authentic community is so much better than the mirage you often encounter online. It encourages. It listens. It partners. It deals with all of life, not just the fun things or the major life events.

I needed to be reminded of this.

I needed to remember how to be still.
How to listen to God and converse with Him rather than just talking at Him.
How to engage with a piece of art more substantial than a tweet or Instagram post.
How to enjoy the beauty of everyday things.
How to give my full attention to someone.
How to let myself be bored and allow God to stir up something new (or old) in my heart.
How to ponder, to dream, to study, to create.

I also needed to be reminded of some very important truths:

That my identity is solely in Christ and what He has done, not in how many likes, favorites, and retweets I obtain.
That whether I’m alone or with others, Jesus is always my constant companion and source of joy.
That God has a specific plan for my life; it is not for me to worry about the path He has set others on.
That I have a purpose so far beyond my entertainment and comfort.

The the love Christ has for me is FAR greater than the approval or affirmation of others.
That with Jesus, I have the best thing in life I could possibly have.
That my real life with all its broken pieces and weird quirks tells a better, more complete story of the grace and mercy of Jesus than the glossed-up version I’m tempted to present.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not going to suddenly give up social media. (I’m sure I’ll be sharing this post via social media, to be honest.) It has some redeeming qualities.

But if it takes me periodically setting aside time to step away from it in order to seek God, be in community, and love and serve others, then that’s a discipline I will joyfully cultivate.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore, I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:22-26